Bullying In The Workplace On The Rise

I appreciate Chrissie's inclusion of the major findings from our survey, the Workplace Bullying Institute-Zogby U.S. Workplace Bullying Survey. It shows that the finding about women targeting women is only a small part of the dark picture about the American workplace.

But to claim that Mass has enacted a law is wrong. (The article she is citing must have been written by a lawmaking novice.) We at the WBI Legislative Campaign drive the multi-state project. Mass has only an INTRODUCED bill (the WBI Healthy Workplace Bill, SB 699). In 2009, 12 states carried some version of the bill. It is dead now in many state legislatures but still alive in NY and IL where bills calling for only statewide studies of bullying have moved through the Houses. But even these limited bills face a Senate vote and Governors' signatures.

To date, no U.S. state has had the courage to pass an anti-bullying (actually referred to as an "abusive work environment" in the text of the bill) bill into law. The U.S. is the last of the western democracies to ignore this workplace problem. Employers choose to ignore it because it is mostly (in 80% of cases) legal.

WBI website: workplacebullying.org
WBI-LC website: workplacebullyinglaw.org

This is great advice. But it's missing something.

Most of the advice you'll find on dealing with a bully is all about just that, dealing with a bully via HR, documentation, law suits, etc. But how about good ol' fashioned taking a look at ourselves first. Ask yourself why you're being picked on instead of other people in the office. What is it about YOUR particular relationship with the bully that is turning it into such a negative experience. What signals are you sending the bully with your communication style? Do you fail to make eye contact with him or her? Are your shoulders hunched over instead of pushed back in a manner of pride?

In other words, as much as it hurts to take some responsibility in what's happening to you, you are not an innocent passerby in your life. You play SOME part in the interaction and communication processes at play here. When you take responsibility for what's happening to you, it's easier to make a change. When you blame someone else for what's happening to you, you feel like you have no control over the situation and change becomes impossible.

Victor Frankl, a neurologist and psyciatrist once said, "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." Another favorite, Wayne Dyer says, "When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change."

It's easy to blame the bully for their horrible treatment. But find out what part you play, take responsibility for it, and make a change in your life. I'm certainly not saying it's your fault you are bullied or that you deserve it, but I am saying you have the power to change your situation. Absolutely.